


Confused

by crankyfool



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-08 06:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10380090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankyfool/pseuds/crankyfool
Summary: The breeze hit them as they stood in the field silently, together, and for the first time, alone. “What are we? Like are we friends? Are we more than friends? If you don’t want to be anything other than friends that’s fine.” DJ said rushed...





	1. chapter one

Running through the end of the forest the lad turned to see that the man he thought was chasing him, was no longer there. He stopped to catch his breath as he did he heard leaves crunch behind him. Noticing the familiar feet attached to the sounds, he looked up and saw, DJ.

 

“Running from something, Lester?” 

 

“I am not Howell, what’s it to ya anyway?” 

 

“You shouldn’t be in these parts, it’s not safe” DJ replied watching Phil stand up straight turning to face him. Noticing that his face was beat red as if he was embarrassed. 

 

“What are you being so shy about Howell, see something?” Phil said shoving his hands in his pockets looking down realizing that it was probably him he was looking at. People knew that DJ had a thing for Lester but, nobody knew about the fact they had some weird thing going on.  

 

“Look here, Lester” DJ took a step closer, picking up his chin. “I was looking at you” He said brushing Lester's hair out of his sky blue eyes. The young man felt his heart race, and his breath hitch as he leaned in to do something he had always wanted too. He noticed that this time Lester didn’t shy away as he usually did. The breeze hit them as they stood in the field silently, together, and for the first time, alone. 

Lester’s breathing hitched as DJ leaned in, but before anything happened they jumped at the sound of the leaves because they felt as if it was someone they knew was there. They both laughed, DJ put his hand behind his head and shook it. 

 

“How about that, Howell, ya actually have feelings” laughed Phil 

  
“Ugh, shut up Lester, you know you wanted me too” sighed DJ playfully punching Lester in the arm. Stepping back but not enough to break the closeness between them as they stood silently. There was suddenly an arm around his waist, he never knew the feeling, but he knew that he didn’t want it to stop. Lester looked up into DJs eyes and smiled, knowing exactly what he was saying without saying it. 


	2. chapter two

The stares, the questions, the looks, it seemed to never end, but this was nothing unusual to DJ. He just kept going on about his day, thinking about the almost kiss that he came close to sharing with Lester. 

 

“Hey, watch where you’re going, Howell” he heard someone say. Looking up DJ saw that it was Lester catching up to him. Looking to his left he noticed that Lester was smiling. 

 

“What are you smiling for Lester?” DJ said looking back down to the floor as he stopped at his locker to get his books. DJ knew that Lester was not having an issue with everyone staring because he as well was also used to it. Lester stood closer to DJ as he tried to get his locker open. Lester could tell that he was having a hard time with him being there. 

“Look howell, I enjoyed our time together yesterday. I was thinking we could do it again.” Lester whispered while looking down at the floor, not realizing that DJ was looking at him again. Lester noticed that DJ had shifted to face him, looking up Lester locked eyes with DJ and blushed. Shifting from foot to foot Lester looked back down at the fear of rejection, turning to leave, DJ grabs his wrist and spins him back around.

 

“Hey, I never answered your question. Why are you walking away from me, Lester” DJ says quietly with a dominance that makes Lester excited yet nervous. 

 

“Oh, I thought you were going to say no, so I was walking away so I wouldn’t get hurt.” Lester replied shyly, sliding his hand into DJ’s but not locking fingers. 

 

DJ looked at their hands and smiled, he shifted so that their hands were hidden from everyone else, locking their fingers together. Lester’s breathing hitched and DJ smiled at the sight. They then released the hold and parted ways as the first bell rung. The thought of that simple task lingered on Lesters mind for the rest of the day. His phone vibrates in his pocket during class, he checks anyways. 

 

*text from DJ* 

_ “I’ll meet you at the same spot after school today _

_xx, J”_


	3. chapter three

Lester stood there and waited for DJ to arrive as he had rushed to the spot right after school. Not thinking about waiting for DJ as that was never clarified. Lester laid down in the grass and looked up at the sky, pondering a life without a friend like DJ, but were they even just friends? Were they something more? What did DJ consider them, he hated jumping to conclusions, but sometimes he couldn't help but make them. He closed his eyes as he waited, not too long after he heard a familiar voice. 

“Well, well Lester, looks like you made yourself comfortable.” 

 

“It took you long enough” Lester said standing up brushing himself off. Noticing that DJs face was flushed. “What’re ya blushin about this time mate?” 

 

“You looked so peaceful laying there, I thought it was kind of cute” Dj replied looking down, feeling like he was being embarrassing. 

 

“Hey, how many times do I have to tell ya that it’s not a bad thing to say stuff like that? It’s just the two of us out here, it’s a safe area” Lester said, picking DJs chin up, smiling at the boy. The familiarity of his feelings were clear as day in DJs eyes. This time, Lester took action. He felt the familiar heartbeat skip and breath catch as he leaned in, slowly their lips met. DJs heart lept out of his chest as he reached up to put his hands around the other boys neck. Lester beat him too it with his hands guiding DJs. When they broke apart they were both smiling, no words escaped their lips for a few minutes as they just sat and shared the silence. 

 

“Wow” DJ smiled finally breaking the silence as he looked down at his fingers. 

 

“Not too bad yourself there Howell” Lester said motioning to join him on the ground. DJ sat as close as he could to Lester without it being weird. Placing his hand on DJs leg Lester looked up and smiled at the boy whom he definitely knew he had feelings for now. But was he going to admit that his feelings were there and inadmissible? Did the other boy feel the same way and was there a way to make this casual without it being a big deal? 

  
“I know, me too” DJ said looking up into Lester's eyes catching him off guard, with a smile he leaned over and gave him another kiss. 


	4. chapter four

Never in his life did he think that he would have ever lock lips with DJ, however Lester was overjoyed. The feeling of doubt and confusion began to fade that day as Lester realized that the feelings were mutual. 

 

“Can I ask you something, Lester?” DJ said looking down, nervous about the following words that he was going to say. He had been pondering ways to ask this, there was no easy way to say this and he was more nervous about Lester's reaction than the actual question.  

 

“Shoot Howell” 

 

“What are we? Like are we friends? Are we more than friends? If you don’t want to be anything other than friends that’s fine.” DJ said rushed as he tried to make sure that Lester didn’t jump down his throat. The fear of rejection ran through his body and his hands started to shake as the anticipation slowly started to get to him. “Look, I’m sorry I even asked. It was stupid.” 

 

“Hey there Howell, I didn’t get the chance to say anything before you assumed something” Lester said noticing DJs shaky hands and nervousness. He took DJs hands pulled them into his, sighed and smiled. “We are whatever you would like to be” Noticing that DJs shaking started to subside when those words came across his lips. 

 

“Well..” DJ said the shaking starting up again “I’d like to be more than friends but if that is not something that you-” 

 

“Yes, Howell, I would like that very much” 

  
The wind blew through the field as they began to sit in silence. DJ enjoying the words that just escaped Lester's lips, he never thought that he would hear those words coming from his lips. They were probably the one couple that you would never expect to be together. 


	5. chapter five

The past year and six months for the two were the happiest that they had both been in a long time. Even through their small spats there was never anything major that could make it harder on them being together. 

 

“You know what, Lester” DJ said adjusting himself on the couch to look at the beautiful black haired boy 

 

“No, I don’t know what Howell. Why don’t you tell me?” Lester said without taking his eyes off the screen 

 

“Well, it has something to do with today's date” DJ said smiling poking Lester's’ face, hoping to pull his attention away from the screen 

 

“I know exactly what today is, Howell. I just hadn’t gotten around to doing anything extremely special for you… yet.” Lester said with a smile on his face and a sparkle in his eye, finally adjusting himself to see DJ. 

 

“What do you mean, yet?” DJ said scooting closer to the perfect blue eyed boy with a sly look on his face. 

 

Lester looked into the chocolate brown eyes of the man he just absolutely adored and has been with happily for a year and six months. They have only made out that had not done anything other than that. They always wanted to go further, but one or the other was always too nervous to go any farther. 

 

“I have a surprise for you though, so close your eyes” Lester turned DJ around and put a sleeping mask over his eyes to take him to the room that they shared. When they got in Lester stood DJ in the doorway and shuffled around the room.  Unbeknownst to DJ there was a soft, heavenly scent in the room- his favorite smell, flower petals covered the floor, and Lester has DJ’s favorite shirt of his on. He knew that it was something they both wanted, he also knew that he was not going to pressure DJ into anything that he did not want to do. 

  
“Surprise” Lester said taking off the sleeping mask taking a couple steps back, sitting on the edge of the bed with a smile. When DJ opened his eyes he sighed and smiled with a look of excitement


	6. chapter six

The look that DJ saw in Lesters eyes was something he knew with familiarity, but he was in charge this time. Walking forward with a slow, seductively almost painful pace, DJ started to unbutton the top buttons on his shirt. The look that Lester saw in DJs eyes was something of lust… or love, he was unsure and he was sure he would figure this out at some point.  

 

There was a  slight pause and sexual tension that filled the room, without hesitation their lips collided. Meeting the others steady yet quick pace as Lester began to continue unbuttoning DJs shirt, only pausing to remove his top so then they were both shirtless. Without missing a beat Lester began to tug on the brown haired boys curls, a small whimper escaping his lips when this occurred. Giving the indication that the motion was something that he enjoyed. 

 

With his hands cupping the others bum, DJ lifted Lester up and wrapped his legs around his hips, then he walked to the bed and laid him down. Then he stood up and slowly started to remove the blue eyed boys pants. Revealing his long, slender and semi fit body, basking in the beauty. He then placed himself above the older boy, beginning to place lovemarks on his torso focusing on the lower half closer to the olders pelvis and hips. Lester began to roll his hips up into DJs lips, giving the indication that he wanted things to continue going the way they were. 

 

Lester then began to pull DJ up from the region he was in, pushing him next to him and climbing on top. Taking charge of the situation, he started placing lovemarks all along the youngers collarbones. This giving the brown eyed boy a great deal of pleasure, he never knew possible- a throaty moan escaping his lips. Then the shorter boy began to remove the taller boys jeans, leaving them both in just their  undergarments. 

  
As they began to get further into being more intimate with one another, the motions on DJs member that Lester was doing made him grip the black haired boys locks as he threw his head back in enjoyment. Letting a moan escape his lips, he then stopped Lester and had him get on his hands and knees. Putting lube on his fingers, and inserting them one by one when he felt that Lester could handle it. He then stopped with the motion, earning small whimpers from the older boy. Then placed the lubricant on his penis, slowly pushing into Lester as to avoid hurting him as this was his first time. They both began to hit their climaxes, once they were done they collapsed next to one another, falling fast asleep.


	7. chapter seven

Things were going great for the two, they were happier than ever. At Least on the outside. Lester was having issues with his gender identity. He usually felt masculine but sometimes he wanted to be a little girlie, like maybe paint his nails or even wear some light makeup but he felt that it wasn’t a normal thing to do for a guy, even if he was pansexual. This wasn’t something he shared with anyone and quite honestly it was tearing him up inside, things normally did not bother him as much as this was. 

 

“Hey, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” DJ said, noticing that Lester had more of a somber look on his face apart from his normal jubilant look when they were together. It was then he felt that maybe Lester was unhappy in the relationship. 

 

“If it is something that I said or did I-” he was stopped with a quick kiss and a hand cupped to his face. 

 

“No, no it is nothing that you did. I’m just… thinking about things” Lester replied rubbing his thumb along DJs’ cheek. Reassuring his significant other that there was nothing he said or did that Lester has rolling around in his mind. 

 

“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking about myself and trying to make sure I know who I am as a person. I don’t always feel as if I’m different, like sometimes I feel masculine and some days I feel as if I’m supposed to be a girl. But I know I’m in the right body but sometimes I’m just unsure. I’ve done a bit of research and looking around on this, seeing that if the way I have been feeling is normal. Turns out that I am completely normal. So, basically, what I’m trying to say is that I am someone who is gender nonconforming or non-binary. Meaning that I would prefer if you say they/them. Any pronouns work but those make the most comfortable.” Lester said, looking down at his thumbs nervous about what DJ would respond with. 

 

“Aw, Lester, I’ll still and always love you no matter who you are. Boy, girl, non binary, doesn’t matter. This just means I can call you things like baby girl and princess now.” DJ smiled dimples showing bringing his princess into a hug. 

  
This response was unexpected by Lester, he was worried that DJ would hate him or even leave him for this. But it was nothing but love, this caused him to shed a few tears. As the hug broke they both smiled and DJ wiped Lester's’ tears from his face, then giving him a kiss.


	8. chapter eight

You look at this couple and think nothing of it. They look completely normal, which to them, they are. Nothing has ever been an issue for either of them, being happy with who they are. After Lester finally realized that who he is would not be an issue for DJ he became happier with who he was, learning to let go of his fears and stop letting those fears overcome his life. When he realized that you don’t need to have everyone else’s approval to be happy, he only needed his own, and in the end that is all he really cared about.  

 

“You never really see this much do you” Lester giggled as the two were on the couch, his head on the lap of the chocolate eyed boy whom he adored. Looking up to see his lover's eyes looking down at him already with a loving but slightly perplexed look. 

 

“What are you referring to, love, we already know you in those shorts are something nobody has ever seen before.” DJ said smiling placing his larger hand on Lesters forehead, rubbing his thumb along his eyebrows, Lester's eyebrows began to droop. This trick he knew would make the softer boy fall asleep even when he is worrying beyond control. 

 

Lester knew that this was what DJ was doing but he never really objected because there was nothing that could make him uneasy. 

 

“Oh.. you know what I’m talking about baaabe.” Lester sleepy said rubbing his eyes rolling onto his side, burying his face into his partner's lap mumbling sleepily “I love y..” his sentence falling short. 

 

“I know you do honey” DJ replied kissing the side of this mans head, getting a bit of hair in his mouth. Never in would he have seen himself this happy with someone and he aso never saw himself with the person he thought would never be his let alone be so comfortable being with and around him. He was beginning to see his insecurities about himself fade, learning to love the things about himself he once hated all thanks to the somber faced, slightly pale, sky blue eyed boy asleep on his lap. 

  
He cherished these moments with Lester because these were the times that he loved the most. Sighing he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, slowly falling asleep.


	9. chapter nine

DJ has been in love with this man for almost as long as he could remember but the two had a lingering hatred that they managed to get past, unbeknownst to Lester, DJ had the fear that one day he would wake up and it would all some elaborate set up that Lester has been putting him through. Even with the years they have been together. As they sat together Lester could sense that DJ had something rolling around in his head that was making him stress. DJ had his hands in his lap and was twiddling his thumbs as they sat on the couch, for once instead of calling him Lester as he normally would DJ caught his boyfriends attention but not his gaze. 

“Phil...” 

“Hm?” Lester replied, not removing his gaze from the computer screen he had on his lap. When he realized that his boyfriend was not replying and he began to hear short and quick breathes he finally looked up to see that DJ had adjusted to face him but was looking down and his face appeared to have tears running down it. 

“Howell, Daniel, what’s going on?” Lester said as he adjusted to face his boyfriend, using his pointer finger to bring DJ’s face up so he could look him in the eyes. Lester’s observations were true, the boys chocolate brown eyes were watering and slightly pink. 

“Phil, I have to ask you something. And before you say anything, let me finish. I have this fear that the past couple years have been nothing but a joke. I haven’t been able to shake the feeling lately. I know this is a shitty thing to be saying but I’m just so afraid of waking up one day and all of this being a dream.” 

“Daniel, I could never do that to you. We may have had our differences before. And granted I was not the nicest to you before and I do realize how that could make you worry. But trust me, right now at this point in time I have never been happier. And that is the truth, the honest truth, I would not want to be with anyone else.” Lester said grabbing one of DJ’s hands and placing the other in his hair softly stroking his curls. Lester pulled him into a hug and DJ let out a soft and long sigh, almost as if he were relieved to hear what Lester had to say.


End file.
